Comic, Playwright, Non-Essential Artist

Recovery

Must…Stop…Reading…Self-Help…Books (and Participating in All Other Self-Improvement Activities)

I now declare November 30th, “National Self-Help Book Burning Day.”

I can’t take it anymore. Any more words of wisdom about how to love and heal myself and I am likely to go postal. They all contradict each other. Selfishness is good. No, wait, selflessness is good. No wait, you’re unhappy and feel like people are treating you like the bottom of their shoes after they’ve gone to the dog park because…you’re really not giving the world enough love and it’s boomeranging back to you (karma and everything). No, wait, it’s because you’re giving too much of yourself to the world and not enough to yourself (gotta stop saving everyone and cut down on the volunteer work). No, wait, it’s because you’re trying to figure out your problems on your own and not opening yourself up to the inspiration of a higher power. No, wait, the higher power told you to honestly express your feelings to your family, at which point you got lambasted by your father for the millionth time (thus, solidifying the resentment you’ve carried for the last 100 years. Bad higher power!). No, wait, it’s because you didn’t surrender your character defect of People Pleasing (and if it were removed you would have no problems telling people to f— off). Typically, the law also requires teens getting their licenses for the first time cialis in the uk to complete a drivers’ education course before obtaining a license. It is also found that the misuse or the extensive use of the cialis 40 mg amerikabulteni.com pill can cause death in the particular circumstances. The medicines of this brand are also known as amerikabulteni.com on line cialis, as it has been prepared with the advance formula sildenafil citrate. This should ensure that your personal details as well as cialis price australia financial ones remain secure. No, wait, it’s because you need to make an amends to your parents for blaming them for your life since, after all, your spirit chose to come forth to this family (this one sounds truly insane). No, wait, it’s because you’re living in the past and not embracing the Power of Now. No, wait, it’s because you’re living in the Now of Yesterday because your Inner Child had a meltdown and your Inner Adult forgot to take the time to give her a hug. No, wait, it’s because you forgot to say “I am a money magnet” 50 times, and fell back into your deprivation thinking. No, wait, it’s because you’re living without gratitude that you’re way above the poverty line and in perfect health. No, wait, it’s all because you forgot your meds. No, wait, it’s really because you ate a muffin (and that’s a LOT of sugar and flour) and have yet to accept that until you embrace veganism you carry the darkness of guilt in your soul. No, wait, it’s because you’re living in vageuness around your finances. No, wait, it’s because you can’t afford to buy a knife set from Williams Sonoma and your living room doesn’t look anything like a Pottery Barn catalogue. No, wait, it’s because people are born and die everyday, and life is confusing.

Just for today, I don’t need to read books to tell me that.