Comic, Playwright, Non-Essential Artist

The Truth

I Should Work for the CIA

I walked out of the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf without paying for my de-caf sugar-free soy mocha. I know what you’re thinking. What’s the point of a de-caf sugar-free soy mocha? Why don’t I just mix Equal into some hot coco and call it a day? Well, the point is that it just doesn’t taste the same unless some guy or girl frets over it for about ten minute and you shell out $3.85. Oh, wait, did I mention I didn’t pay for it? Well, I think the appropriate explanation is that they forgot to charge me and I was in such a foul mood that I couldn’t muster up my inner-girl scout to do anything. I think I had spent her on the cop who pulled me over for making an illegal U-turn. Thanks to her and my innate fear of the police he brought it down to “neglect to read signs”(which is supposedly not going to affect my insurance), and chose to give me a “warning” on the fact that I wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

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I didn’t purposely steal my expensive coffee drink. I just didn’t pay for it.

Just for today, I’m an outlaw.