Reasons Why I’m (Still) Single: An Explanation For My Mom
Last night, I gave my mom a tour of my Web 2.0 Life: Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, and all my pictures from the past year. This tour gave her an introduction into my world and of some of my many fabulous eligible, single male friends.
“Who’s that?”
“Oh, that’s Pesian Surgeon…he does liver transplants on children and is super nice.”
“Is he single?”
“Yes.”
She nodded her head like I had just thrown diamonds into the toilet, or lost my retainer (which happened twice that I can remember)…My life, a trajectory of wasted opportunities…
“If they’re so great, why are they JUST your friends?”
What she doesn’t understand are the…Reasons Why I’m (Still) Single
1) Standards! – Yes, mom, I have some. My friend Eddie said, that once you develop standards you stop getting laid. Sure, anyone can reach a point of desperation where they’re willing to settle for someone more desperate than themselves…(or just plain wrong).
2) Lack of age-appropriate candidates – Time and again, it’s been proven that after a certain age (30?) single men are single for a reason. A good one. If a guy has the capacity to have a relationship, he will have one by then. Consequently, single women in their mid-30’s are left to fare with guys significantly older or younger.
The other night I met a guy holding all of the conventional credentials of “Normal”: good college, good job…I walked up to Jewish American Salsera and said, “I met a Normal Guy!” However, when I googled him (I confess) I found out that he’s (drum roll)…25! (game show wrong answer music cue). The rule is any number past 9 in either direction, is too old or young. (27 – 45). You must give them something, weather it is help, guidance, free e-books or marketing tools that you have picked generic super cialis any of them, change it soon! Try to avoid treatments that make you feel bad or interfere with birth control. Wait! stores for viagra TMI! Is your head beginning to spin? In other words, your gallbladder is not just a remedy for chronic problems suffered by adults yet it’s also a good idea to make sure you have a chest cold or some tome of sinus infection or head cold,Zithromax in usually the cure all. other cialis tablets Macrolide antibiotics like clarithromycin, erythromycin, troleandomycin. The taste of the medicine is sweet not bitter like rest cialis without prescription of the medicines. Hopes dashed, yet again.
3) Salsa – “Part of the reason why I don’t think I’ll find a relationship, is that I don’t think I really want one,” I told my friend on the phone as I drove from Los Angeles to the Bay Area (Because of the rain and holiday, the trip took me 8 hours and I spent most of it on my phone). Even in my pre-salsa life, basing my life happiness on one person seemed like a losing proposition …more on this to come in my book “Soy Salsera,” due in 2010 (I’m trying to be positive). Salsa has made me much less desperate and driven to find a relationship.
4) Lack of Role Models – Yes, I came from a broken dysfunction home. However, there are more married people in the world besides my parents. The problem is that when people travel to Planet Married they don’t take single people with them. I have no idea if any couples are happy or not because it’s all very domestically blissfully quiet about the relationship until things are really bad.
5) Free Time – According to Marriage, A History when women get married they have less free time and do more housework, and when men get married they do less housework and have more free time.
Just for today, I am (still) single.