Impending Mid-Life Crisis And Other Reasons Why I Like To Spend Money

I recently saw an Old Friend/Ex-Something who, for a variety of boring reasons, ended up taking me for a ride in his new leased Mercedez.

“Mid-life crisis?”

“No, I just really wanted a sports car.”

Same thing!

But I get it. I have the girl version of mid-life spending issues.

You really want It. It’s very expensive. And, yet, all you know for sure is that you will die someday. Sooner than you thought. Or worse, you will look old. Nice Pricey Thing+Awareness of Mortality=Money Gone That Could Still Be There.

However, I have also been suffering from “frugality fatigue syndrome,” also known as Marshall’s/Ross/Target School of Style. And, honestly, if my rain coat were Prada, it could not garner more compliments or look more kick-ass. But there’s only so many times I can walk past the displayed clothes and into the sales rack before I start feeling like the kid with the sugar-free lunch. Which is all to say that today I walked into [Insert Store I’m Embarrassed To Be Shopping At] and threw down FULL PRICE RETAIL…Bitch!

Damn right, I call that a paycheck.

Later, I went to Abbot-Kinney, home of the muted tones, $200 tank-tops (on sale!) and sales ladies (not sure what else to call them) who, with a few exceptions, possess a look of stoicism that would melt Spock into a puddle. With one glance, while folding the hand woven, silk, Guatemalan-beaded, specially dyed, organic [Insert Clothing Item I’ve Never Heard Of] they seem to say, “I know you’re not buying anything here, Target Raincoat Lady, and I’m not paid enough to smile.” I wish I could take off a mask and reveal myself be Gwyneth Paltrow.

Seriously, though, I’m really glad I don’t have to try to sell $800 sweaters. Talk about pressure.

Just for today, I’m spending money.

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