I’m Going To Succumb To Nerves For The Next Ten Minutes

Instead of fighting nervousness, or trying to conquer it, I find it best to succumb.  Terror.  Fear. Jitters.  And then I say a prayer to a big black woman in the sky named “Rochelle” who’s attitude towards life is, “Get over it, Girl.”  She’s kind of busy.  But she’s got perspective.

Stand up comedy falls in the category of activities one can NOT perform Half-Assed.  I had a conversation with my friend Robb Fulcher about Half-Assed vs. Non-Half-Assed activities.  Having Children also falls into the Non-Half-Assed category. We’re all agreed, I’m sure that you can’t say, “I’m just not in the mood to feed my kid.”   Other Non-Half-Assed activties include  fire-walking, marriage, and open heart surgery.  Whereas, something like, say…yoga, was made for flakes.  Other activities that lend themselves to non-commital attitudes include surfing the Internet, skipping stones, bowling, cooking (nobody’s hurt if you bail on your ambitious stew and settle for chicken broth),  and, ironically, spirituality.  (I have never met bigger flakes than “spiritual people.”)

But if you try to Half-Ass stand up comedy, you will experience such degrading humiliation that you’ll flee from the thought of returning to the stage.   If you want to try out material but don’t want that kind of stress, I recommend throwing in some jokes at a Poetry Slam, or even a share at a 12-step meeting.
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Stand up demands fear and respect.  Or a high tolerance for pain.

Just for the next ten minutes, I’m nervous.