I take a great deal of poetic license in my stand up. As a comic I believe that my words and actions must (attempt) to service the God(s) of Comedy (in my case, a big, black woman named Rochelle). So, if I say something on stage, like, “I’m really into tatooed rasta men in skinny jeans,” I assume the audience – especially an audience of comics – understands that I’m Solange, the comedienne, not Solange, woman dating in Los Angeles. (Which doesn’t necessarily mean I’m NOT into tatooed rasta dudes).
But, apparently, this is not always the case.
The other night a fellow comic approached me after I told the following joke on stage: “I’m dating responsibly now. (That’s code for Jewish).” He asked me if I was on J-Date (to which I replied “No”) and invited to his B-day party. Although very cute and funny, I knew intinctively that I’m not nearly Jewish enough for him (not being Jewish at all…a fact that I probably need to insert in the joke somewhere), but decided to try to make his fiesta because as a single person I never say no to an invite.
At the last minute I asked my friend Michele to be my wing woman who generously offered to pick me up from the coffee shop where I was doing my Thursday night comedy. It wasn’t until we arrived at the destination that I realized that I’d lost my car keys. After ten minutes of digging through every crevice of Michele’s car and my purse (tampons flying everywhere) and not finding them, we walked into a fancy bar filled with a lot of dressed up, douchey-ish people, none of whom looked remotely like comics. Turns out, I had the wrong place.
Flash forward one hour later, we arrive at the right place, and I had found my car keys in my make-up bag. Most people had left, but Jewish Comic was happy to see us. However, once we (very quickly) established my lack of a Jewish heritage, he promptly offered to set me up with a Shaygetz (I just looked up the Yiddish word for “Non-Jewish Male”) and hit on Michele. I felt a little rejected, but, nonetheless, enjoyed hanging out, and discussing dating, relationships and the movie Breakin’ (7th grade, opening night, front row). When we left, he gave me a bottle of Cabernet that he couldn’t drink because it’s not kosher. And that’s when I realized that I didn’t have to take his rejection personally. When a person gives away wine in the name of religious beliefs, he’s not letting you down lightly. I left with a stronger understanding of the challenges of searching for a mate.
And all this happened because of a joke that wasn’t really based in truth.
Just for today, I seek truth through comedy.