The moon is full, the lining of my uterus is ready to shed (gross, I know), and I can’t watch five seconds of the Olympics without welling up with tears. So much for feminism, all I can think about is chocolate, coffee, and how fast can I down some sangria. I’ve also been having dreams about babies. (But still no plan to have one).
The other night I dreamt that I gave birth to an actual fully developed 1-year-old in my car while driving on the 5 back to LA from the Bay Area. I may have pulled over, but there was no mess. Nothing. Just a sudden adorable delicious baby Later, I happen to run into my mom and I say, “Hey Mom! Look! You’re a grandmother!” Shockingly, she simply shruggs her shoulders and mutters, “Meh…” as if I had just presented her with my collection of 80’s jewelry. Despite her dissappointment, I go on living as a mom with a baby on one arm, shopping, doing errands…when suddenly…Holy Shit! Where did I leave the baby?!
This is why I still have no plans to have a baby.
Just for today, I got me some PMS.