Comic, Playwright, Non-Essential Artist

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Breakdown On I-5 Part II: A Teenager In Your House

[The blog below is the follow-up to the chronicles of my journey in Northern California after my car broke down on I-5].

After my Adventures In Los Banos, I arrived safely in Oakland to spend one night with my friend Emily and her twin baby girls.   She was already committed to attend a People With Babies Dinner Party and so I accompanied her as her +1.  It was a little awkward with everyone being all, “Where’s your baby?  Did you leave it at home?”  Nobody actually said that…but I imagined the question hovered over every conversation like a thought bubble made of lead.

As we were leaving, one of the mothers mentioned that her younger sister had been born when she herself was 9-year-old.  I took that as my opening and announced to no one in particular, “My mom had a baby when I was 15 and that was the best birth control anybody could give me!”

Everyone sort of stared at me, as if the crazy lady had finally spoken.  My work was done.

The following two nights, I stayed with my two dear friends, Rebecca and Josh. We’ve all known each other since the 6th grade when Rebecca and I inaugurated the Slow Dance Party into the middle school zeitgeist.   They hooked up in their 20’s and now have two beautiful children and, unlike me, live with real adult responsibilities.  I stayed in the “Lego Room” where I twittered, blogged, Facebooked and talked on the phone for hours.  I also cajoled Rebecca into coming out to “The City” (San Francisco) to see the band, J.C. Brooks and the Uptown Sounds.  I lost my debit card somewhere in the club, but fortunately nobody charged on it.  No card, no car, no job…I wondered if my life was slowly unraveling at 40.

“It’s like having a teenager in the house,” Rebecca said to me after the second day.
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“Just because I’m unemployed, and my car broke down cuz I didn’t take it in, and I lost my debit card, I still work on being a mature adult and…WHAT’S THIS?!  I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM THE BOY! ”

They invited me to stay all week, but I wanted to spend some quality time with my aunt.   My aunt’s husband offered to let me use his car, so I wouldn’t have to take a bus and walk around Berkeley like a forlorn high school student.  But by that point  I had surrendered to the experience of reliving my teenage years. All I needed was an AP Calculus test and a study partner whose intentions remained mysterious to me.  Who am I kidding?  The study partners never end and everything is mysterious.  Did I ever grow up?

I ran each day to the track at King Junior High School and marked where I smoked pot in the bushes.

Just for today, I can still feel like a wandering teenager.

P.S. While writing this blog, a man at Peet’s asked me if I was getting my schoolwork done and then laughed.