“Hey, Ladies! Are you struggling with dating relationships? Feeling confused or sad? Willing to do anything? Even read a dating book? Are you ready to accept that YOU’RE the problem? Are you ready to see that all your expectations of “equality” have really just held you back from finding The One? Do you realize that The One can’t even see you for all your masculine success and being yourself-ness. He’s waiting…for YOU to grow up and get mysterious, bitchy and cold!”
If I feel like getting mad and righteous I go to the bookstore and browse through the dating self-help books. The Granddaddy of condescending books remains “He’s Just Not That Into You.” This book portends to “help” women through tough as nails love and only reminds you 50 times a page about all the men who have rejected YOU.
Well, come to think of it I wasn’t really digging his…STOP RIGHT THERE NO HE REJECTED YOU! Ok, chill out Dating Book That’s Supposed to Help Me…I was just saying that he didn’t make a lot of money and…BUT HE’S SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
This book isn’t for women. It’s the “she really wanted me” conversation that guys have with each other. It’s for men who jerk off to the notion that every woman who says “Hello” or finds the courage to put aside all her bad experiences with relationships is pining by the phone.
Yes, women get psycho attached to men. Usually, that happens after sex or devout promises. I don’t think that’s mentioned in the book. The book lacks any holistic notion of relationships. Guess who else gets rejected or wants people who may not be into them? No, not porcupines, or cockroaches, but GUYS! Yes, sometimes guys want to be with a girl and she’s busy or into someone else or he’s not really her type. Where are those books? Talk about unfair! Not only do women get to have better orgasms and cry at work, but we get ALL THE CONDESCENDING DATING BOOKS!
I meet about one man every two years I’m attracted to. If the rest are rejecting me, I don’t really care or blame them. Sure, I want to be noticed. But that’s not the same thing as wanting a guy to call who I barely know or had a drink with once. AM I ALONE IN THIS?
I’ve dated the guy who pursues me relentlessly and guess what…eventually he has lost interest, too. Ok, maybe I’m a horrendous beast who or maybe it’s called a “relationship.” Time passes, things happen, people make mistakes, he goes into his man cave, we both decide it’s not the right “fit.” Dynamics are at play. And yet dating books hold onto the a 1950’s attitude that a) men are a prize b) there’s no way to keep one with authenticity and c) feeling good about your success in the world makes you “masculine.”
COMING SOON: Solange reads “The Rules.”
Just for today, I love to read dating books.