My Midlife Crisis Might Involve Childbirth And Linen Pants

I read this article about how the traditional Midlife Crisis means little to nothing to my generation (of White People) because we’re such a degenerate group of cynical slackers who can’t let go of their artistic ambitions long enough open an IRA.  The whole idea of a Midlife Crisis probably would make little sense to me even in the 1950’s because I don’t have a penis and thereby wouldn’t know what to do with a Porsche and a girlfriend half-my-age.  The whole idea of “Midlife Crisis” was invented by guys with too much security.  NOT SO MUCH HERE.

People Like Me don’t need to rebel.  For someone who’s had 100+ jobs (haha…just kidding employers) spent 5 years dancing salsa 4-5 times a night, the idea of rebellion doesn’t mean a whole lot. I do have an IRA, health insurance, and I own two H&M blazers, so I’m not totally clueless.  But I’ve never been to Burning Man, (mostly because I’m not a fan of glitter and, seriously, at this point it’s very 2006) and I the only non-prescriptive drugs I’ve taken, or ingested, come from my mom friends.But also, as the article points out, there hasn’t been a lot of comfort or stability in the past twenty years what with these recessions happening.

Really, the only thing left for me to do might involve childbirth, linen pants, maybe a mortgage…

Just for today, no midlife crisis happening here.

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