Dear Secretary Clinton,
As the dust settles on last Tuesday’s devastating election results, more dust keeps falling on top of it. The bombs keep coming down; from the appointment of Steve Bannon bomb to God knows what comes next. I helped cause those bombs and maybe need them to wake me out of a coma I didn’t know I was in. Ever since November 8th, around 7:30 pm, when the election results bitch-slapped me into acceptance of a world that could come, like many, I have struggled with facing this new world and what part I may have played to cause it. The grief is multi-layered. I fear for the future, but I also for the loss of a country under your leadership, what now seems like an over-optimistic hope that I would see not only a female president come to office, but a woman who raised me and other women to a new place in America. Whatever the results, your campaign changed my life.
I can not begin to imagine the emotions you experienced on the evening of November 8the. For the past ten months I watched with awe and fascination as you have blazed down the campaign trail, undeterred by the insanity, lies, hate and misogyny, of which a fraction of which would have thrown me into depression and despair. It did not have that affect on you. Even after your loss you fight. It’s weird to say this, but I did not know that was an option.
Like many professional women, in my life I have sat around grey conference tables in offices filled with men, dudes, boys, whatever…wondering if my pants are too tight or not tight enough, if I am feminine enough to be acknowledged or masculine enough to do the job. Spending more time on how to not sound bitchy, but confident, yet assertive, but humble, than on the task at hand. Wondering if I am crazy. And I never doubted that it was my duty to think as much about my physical and verbal presentation as my work. I’m embarrassed by this now, but that’s the truth and I know I’m not alone. It did not occur to me until 2016 that I gave my power away to a system that never earned a fraction of my respect; that words like old hag, unattractive, witch, bitch don’t mean anything. That people can fire me or hate me, but nobody can stop me.
I have no doubt that you will go down in history as one of the greatest leaders of our time. I am so proud to have supported you and I will follow you anywhere. Please don’t go away, keep fighting. You are still my president.
With Love & Gratitude