Following The Election From Hawaii
I didn’t plan to come to Hawaii for the election, as it was largely out of my control. Hawaii did not open it’s paradisical gates till October 15th and a friend so generously offered me the studio she rented out in the before-times. It took me a while to get in vacation mode and the anxiety of the election hung over me like, I don’t know what to compare it to. I have not had enough wars or natural disasters to fully understand the lack of control I have in this world. This year makes all 47 years of my life seem like a miraculous breeze.
So when Tuesday November 3rd rolled around, despite daily beach visits where I drank coffee and talked to my friend about college boyfriends and bra shopping, we both felt super anxious. She felt sick. My therapist felt sick. I, however, went surfing with someone I met on Hinge. He was very kind to give me a surfing lesson.
We waited for the results of the Presidential Election 2000 that would remove the autocratic fascist dictator uneducated open mic comic who has occupied the place where presidents are supposed to live. We waited. and waited. Tuesday night I went to bed feeling despondent, but on Wednesday things turned around. Thursday and Friday were late night blurs of Twitter, NY Times and MSNBC but every morning I got up at 6:30 and did Hawaii-ish things. I roamed Honolulu malls a sandy mess and went on hikes were I slogged through mud and tripped on roots. I spent 11/4 at Pearl Harbor, appropriately.
Turns out, all the ions in the world can’t remove the anxiety.
On November 6th, I went hiking all while thinking, “I could be home sharing memes!”
And then my sister called me at 6:30 Hawaii time on November 7th, four days after the election. America (well, the majority of America) rejoiced. I, however, crashed. I felt relief and gratitude, but also an emptiness. Averting the apocalypse seems like a low bar for joy, but we live in strange times.
So grateful to have had the opportunity to be in such a beautiful place during a harrowing time.