Scab Girl Summer

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Not to brag, but I had a lot of accidents this summer. My last blog post was about how I fell down a mountain and sustained an epic Rothko-like bruise. Recently, a wave broke on my head while boogie boarding. I came up with a bloody nose and later my lip swelled. I looked like I had bad collagen injections. On the positive side, I did get a free microdermabrasion treatment, a year’s worth of retainer-wearing, and my sinuses have never been so clear.

Ocean Face Smash happened the morning of my first live show since February of 2020. Fortunately, comedy is not about looking good. I showed up with classic LA fish lips and a crooked half-smile. The audience, most of whom did not know me, just assumed I had same day dental work. Comments ranged from “beautiful lips” to “your face looks weird.”

Chronic self-injury might also be the perfect metaphor for the summer of 2021. Here we all were, thinking “we got this,” pulling out our Ross summer dresses that we never wore in 2020 when BAM! We’re on the ground, jeans ripped, and new scab just above where the old one had not quite healed. Covid is still here. We’re not out of the woods. In fact, more lost than ever. If 2020 was an epic fall, 2021 is the constant re-bruising of the old wound. Pick your metaphor, I have plenty to choose from.

When I wasn’t hanging out with my friends Ice and Neosporin, I spent the summer going to museums in Los Angeles. Starved for culture that isn’t coming in through a light in a box. I love how much the Picasso exhibit at LACMA acknowledges his blatant misogyny. His art was a giant F U to all the people in his life. But would Picasso have gotten vaccinated? Definitely not.

I have spent a lot of time talking to anti-vax freinds, acquaintances and neighbors. It turns out that I am surrounded. They live next door to me. I used to go to their birthday parties. Talk to them about politics. Dance with them.

I am probably one of five people vaccinated in a building of 16 renters, so I wear a mask to enter my apartment building. I have had many conversations with them. Despite not wanting to be sheep, they all say the same thing:

• The vaccine causes auto-immune disease. (Interestingly, this is also what Covid does. )
• Has not been tested enough (Uh, is there another vaccine that’s been tested by 200 million people?)
• The government is trying to “control us” (the government is nothing compared to Google)

After weeks of debate and telling one neighbor that I could not speak to her inside, she decided to get the shot. Bottom line punitive measures work.

Current goals: make it through the rest of the summer without an ice pack.