Category Archives: Car

Ten Tips For Buying A Car

“Let me go talk to the guys in the back and see what they can do for you,” said Ben the Car Sales Rep at The Dealership. (Not his real name). This was the fifth or sixth time Ben had … Continue reading

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Me And My Mom And A Green Datsun

This weekend my mom told me that it’s “time” for me to settle down with “a short bald rich guy.”  What if he’s 5’10”?  That’s fine, but he MUST be rich.  In all fairness, she only wants happiness and security … Continue reading

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Breakdown On I-5 Part I: From The Land of Scary Yoga Teachers To Small Town California

I left Los Angeles for the Bay Area (Berkeley, Oakland, etc.) last Friday in a flurry of cray.  I tried to squeeze in a yoga class before my 6 hour drive (or, what I thought would be 6 hours) and … Continue reading

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Car Shock

When I came back from Lake Tahoe after 6 measly days away, I went into immediate Car Shock by the sheer number of cars in Los Angeles. It’s eat or be eaten out here. Cut off someone else, or be … Continue reading

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Jump Start My Ass

Because I’m a grain of sand in the crapped-on, dead fish smelling beach of our once-great, now questionable nation, I can’t expect to function well for for any length of time before I start to go a little Charlie Sheen … Continue reading

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Ride Mooch

Everywhere I go in LA there are these large, shiny, metallic mechanical objects flying past me, in front of me, cutting me off….it’s a relentless and horrible hindrance to quiet and a sense of peace, and, yet, I am loathe … Continue reading

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Looking Pretty Ghetto

“Your car needs more than a wash.” Hey, I didn’t come here to get insulted, Mr. Car Wash Ticket Guy! Yes, I know my car is looking pretty ghetto. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I like it … Continue reading

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Car Drama

My emergency brake (sp?) needs to be tightened. Last week, my car rolled across the street and onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street without any discernible damage. But not after I chased it through oncoming traffic … Continue reading

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Bumper Stickers

Last night I saw a car with three bumper stickers, “I Love My Pit Bull,” “Trust the Godess,” and “Stop the War!” (or something to that effect…). What?! Who is this person? A peace/killer-dog loving feminist? It’s one of my … Continue reading

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Car Sadness

I’m frequently criticized for a disorder known as Compulsive Neatness (I have an aversion to sand, layers of dust, and eyebrows that aren’t finely pointed arches.) So, when my car got side swiped by a giant Partridge-style school bus on … Continue reading

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Road Rage

I was in a road rage on my way to yoga today, and on my way home after yoga. However, for that 1 1/2 hours I was as peaceful as a song bird (which, I’m assuming, are peaceful creatures and … Continue reading

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