Category Archives: Holidays

A Thanksgiving Story

I ran into an old boyfriend (or something like that) at Trader Joe’s on the day before Thanksgiving. “My wife’s pregnant again!” he said immediately upon seeing me. I guess he’s gotten over me. For years his memory kind of … Continue reading

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I’m Making Pies For Thanksgiving

“I’m going to make pies for Thanksgiving,” I told my Mom on the phone tonight. “Good,” she replied. Only it sounded more like “Good!” as in “Finally!” or “It’s about freakin’ time!” Of course, a pie is not a grandchild. … Continue reading

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What Happened To Halloween?

I spent Halloween with my friend and her two daughters, giving out candy and attempting to bring back the innocence I once associated with this day. Halloween’s fall from grace began sometime after the French Maid (or Playmate) costume began … Continue reading

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2011

2010. Damn. Can I get off now? 2010 was a roller coaster ride to hell, fun for a moment, and then the person in the car ahead of me puked. At the very least, I wasn’t alone. 2011…be kind. Just … Continue reading

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This Is My Christmas Post

If there’s one thing Christmas (I know it’s completely outdated to say the word “Christmas,” but I just don’t celebrate “Holidays”) teaches me each passing year it’s this: I need kids. There are a few reasons: 1) Unconditional Selfless Love … Continue reading

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Holiday Forecast: Mild Depression With A Chance Of Showers

Unless you’re making homemade wreaths and white floral displays with Gwyneth Paltrow, I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I’ve been having some difficulty getting excited about Ghetto Holiday 2010. Between Obama’s codependency issues, the sounds of Kenny G’s … Continue reading

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Gratitudes

I’d be lying if I said that I loved the part before Thanksgiving dinner when someone (mom) announces that everyone must share something they are grateful for. Thank God, it usually gets seconded, but then voted down by the hungry … Continue reading

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Cinco De Mayo

I loved this holiday as a little girl. It was almost as good as Christmas. I got to wear a Mexican dress, put on lipstick AND blush, and dance the Mexican hat dance in front of my parents. And then … Continue reading

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Thank God I’m Not In A Bad Relationship Day

In past years, I haven’t given a moments thought to it. But for some reason, yesterday, the fake Hallmark hype of Venereal Day prompted a shame spiral down the mental staircase of self-doubt. “How embarrassing to be single,” I thought … Continue reading

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Tequila In ’10

I made the acquaintance of tequila on New Year’s Eve. I never understood tequila before. I thought it was alcohol. Nobody explained to me it’s liquid goodness. I wouldn’t drink it every day, (maybe just on the weekends), but I … Continue reading

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Christmas Past

It was hard to feel warm Christmas cheer, and terror that I’ll never work again at the same time, so I decided to abstain from the family Christmas this year. But I started to think about Christmases in the past. … Continue reading

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