Category Archives: Movies

When You Know The Movie Is Racist, But Russell Crowe Is Hot

“Glow.” Done. “House of Cards” and “Dear White People.”  Done.  I couldn’t get into any of the other new Netflix series, which seem to be produced at a blog-rate, so I scrolled through movies and saw “Proof of Life.”  I remember believing … Continue reading

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Why I Can No Longer Watch Dead Or Dying Girls On TV/Internet

The other night I watched a really bad movie — I forgot the name — but it involved caves and scuba diving and my self-inflicted choices were that or “Love Actually.”  When the first two characters died —a woman and the … Continue reading

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Daisy And Myrtle Have A Connection And Nick Carraway Is Gay

WARNING: You must have some understanding of the novel “The Great Gatsby” for this blog to make any sense or have any meaning.  (And even if you do it still may not). It’s not unusual to have had a college … Continue reading

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Blue Puke

A friend and I went to see the film “Blue Valentine” because her husband highly recommended the fine acting (i.e. excessively gratuitous sex). I pretty much hated every moment (minus the excessively gratuitous sex). I haven’t experienced that kind of … Continue reading

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You Get What You Need

I just spent this rainy afternoon watching “The Big Chill.” This morning I finished “Valley Girl.” (Young Nicholas Cage….romantic, fearless, reckless…still my dream man). Am I feeling nostalgic? Do I regard the future with fear and uncertainty? Do I want … Continue reading

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The Breakfast Club

In the sixth grade, my best friend and I became Crossing Guards at Columbus Elementary School. Besides wearing a sweater with stripes, and leading a brigade of 10-year-olds carrying rifle-sized “Stop” signs, we got a free pass to the movies … Continue reading

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Barf

I finished watching “Julie & Julia” last night (SFX: gag reflex). I’m sure Amy Adams did what she was directed to do, but I don’t understand how Norah Ephron expected us to sympathize with a character who constantly whines and … Continue reading

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I Must Be Hitting My Sexual Peak

All I say about movies these days is a comment about the sexual appeal of the lead actors. I saw “Defiance,” a movie (excuse me, a “film”) about Jews who resisted Nazi persecution by hiding out in the woods for … Continue reading

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You Can Go Back To Your Penises Now…

I work in the bowels of a self-acknowledged Alpha Male Zone. There’s even a sign that says something to the effect of “you’re in a frat house, but it’s always finals week” And if you can’t read, the flying footballs … Continue reading

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I Forgot My Mantra

The other night I watched “Vantage Point,” via The Netflix, and 3/4 into it had an existential panic attack as I realized that, if I’m not careful, I’ll lose my life to crappy movies (interestingly, Vantage Point, didn’t really have … Continue reading

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Brangelina

I’ve had a really bad headache for the past few days that I believe has come from stretching my brain around a new project at work. In an effort to keep my head from exploding (because that would be embarrassing) … Continue reading

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