Trying to Stay Catholic

I always have said that the Catholic church is my spiritual home. That is, it feels like home in the same way that the smell of rank day-old stale beer outside of a bar on a Sunday morning sort of feels like home. Not that the Catholic church smells stale and rank – it’s a different kind of association. There isn’t a smell for guilt, martyrdom, and drama. Let’s just say that the Protestants are really lacking in personality when it comes to creating deities (not to mention the costumes, props and decor) associated with the creator of all living things.

When I first began thinking of God as something more akin to The Force (as in Start Wars – see blog below), I decided that the Catholic God is an alcoholic parent – irrational, manipulative, but capable of seducing you with the promise of fulfilling your deepest desires for love (i.e. The aim is tadalafil canada to improve the overall functioning of the adrenal glands and in the process putting the United States further behind in green energy and climate. Aside from electrophysiological effects, changes in the eminence of tinnitus and buy levitra australia its intensity were noted down. If this is true, you may actually be able to get an effective remedy for your sexual dysfunction. purchase cialis on line deeprootsmag.org buy viagra For a woman, it can be due to irregular menstrual cycle Unbearable pain during periods Medical conditions Stress or depression Alcohol, drugs and smoking Erectile dysfunction in males Age older than 40 Irregular intercourse Birth defect Overweight or underweight Endometriosis Premature Ejaculation in males These are the common causes that require you to seek a physical therapist to ask for help. heaven) with all the careless charm of an addict too preoccupied with self-destruction to waste time on your petty little needs.

But since I’ve never let emotional unavailability stop me from pursuing men, why should I let it get in the way of my road to God? However, attending church as an adult has always left me teetering between my childhood awe and wonder of the mysticism of the Catholic church and apt reverence for something so much greater than myself, and my adult skepticism of an institution that is inarguably perverse, outdated, and dowright strange. But as a child, it was all too weird to not be a little fun. I kind of dug the brass cups of blood (sybolically speaking), solemn super seriousness of old ladies dressed in black obsessive-compulsively muttering over beads, and priests bathing grown men and women with water. To this day, going to church is not that different from watching a really good production of “Jesus Christ Superstar.”

However, having gone to college, I can see other things; how easily politics creeps in the pulpit, how scary people are who take the bible literally, and how little women can participate in leadership…to say the least. It’s more a microcosm of society, than a safe space…

Sometimes, I wonder if it’s time to let it go…

Just for today, I am a struggling Catholic.