The Feeling
It’s not like I’m in a coma or anything, or like those guys from Crossfire (who were so checked out that they invited the magnificent bludgenor of BS, Jon Stewart, to bludgeon them on their home court). I’m not THAT DISCONNECTED! I am just learning there are more subtle ways to register pain and discomfort than a complete freezing of the bowels. And there are more appropriate ways to deal with FEELINGS and EMOTIONS, than getting drunk like a freshman in college (which I haven’t done in at least a year, if not more….but I am willing to examine my own denial…).
But all this happens (as my sponsor says) because I avoid feeling The Feeling.
So, this is what happens. I have some thought or experience, like, say I am going to take greater risks in my life because I am growed up, and it’s not really appropriate to raise a family in a studio apartment (albeit a very, very big studio apartment). I mean, it could be cozy at first, but then when my son is 15 and wants to invite his friends over for oreos and pornos…it’s just not going to really work (please note: I would commit matricide, before I let my son bring porn into my house…note to self: cheap jokes > honesty).
ANYWAY, so all I have to do is THINK about taking greater risks with my career and the JUST THE THOUGHT OF CHANGE sends me onto an emotional precipice below which is nothing more than a vaccum filled void (which is so many negatives it actually should add up to something…but it’s something scary and lonely). You will become a capable lover to satisfy her in bed, it creates a vacuum in your http://appalachianmagazine.com/2015/01/21/lincolns-words-regarding-the-constitutionality-of-west-virginia/ female cialis online relationship. Taking medicine in such condition would invite levitra properien appalachianmagazine.com trouble. You are advised to include oysters, spinach, eggs, watermelon, cashews, almonds, banana, garlic and pumpkin seeds buy levitra online in your daily diet to increase testosterone naturally. What connects borderlines sildenafil professional and abusive relationships? Answer: Boundary issues. AND THEN, I start to feel that if I don’t wash my bathroom mat with bleach in the next 24 hours, surely the engine of government, commerce, and society will come to a complete halt. And not only that, but I won’t have enough money to buy deoderant, or paper towels, or DSL, or any of the crap that hooks me into the world, and our crap-filled consumer society. WHICH WILL THEN ostricized from THE LOVE available to all…but me. It won’t be available to me because I’m in the vacuum filled void feeling alone, lonely, and scared. And that’s really the only way I can describe The Feeling.
Just for today, I can feel my feelings.