The End of Coffee

My Republican doctor made a good point when he said that drinking two cups of jet fuel is probably not the best thing for my UTI (that’s Urinary Tract Infection for those of you not to hip to urology…and just FYI, there is a whole shelf dedicated to it at Whole Foods). I had to ask my Republican doctor, “When you say stay away from coffee, what exactly do you mean?” And low and behold he told me that he means I need to cut out caffeeine/coffee (I mean what is coffee without caffeine?) for SIX MONTHS TO A YEAR! Talk about loss. Talk about grief. A whole universe of reliable comfort and adrenaline has been wrenched from me like a bottle from a baby. I must blog caffeine-less. Depression looms.

There was a time when my system was clear of mood altering substances. SIDE EFFECTS The side effects are generally very few tadalafil cheapest click for source but some of them which affect of about 2% or more than them are headache, nausea, blackouts for a limited time span. Clicking or popping of generic viagra sale the jaw. Just buy cialis professional keep your cell phones away from your pockets and there will be no risk of developing ED. The only difference they carry is the active ingredient found in medications that levitra uk are used for the treatment of erectile dysfunction. However, I got very depressed when I was 26 and was introduced to an anti-depressant (have you heard of Prozac?) that I took for two years. I now feel certain this is the tool of The Man to keep the agitated middle-class (ever shrinking) in a harmless comatose state of bland nirvana so that we continue our weekly migrations to Cost-co. The point is that this time in my life taught me that depression was easily cured with coffee and a pill, thus, keeping me disconnected from the deep wells of anger that threaten to make me bold and unladylike (also known as my Inner-Big-Black-Woman or my Inner-Tony Soprano). I stopped taking the Prozac a long time ago, but coffee proved a friend too fun and reliable to say good-bye to. Sniff.

I read in a book (cuz I do read) that had coffee been created after the FDA was established it would certainly require a prescription (which doesn’t mean it would be hard to get, there just wouldn’t be a franchise on every street corner).

In my new clear state, I imagine a world where everyone followed their doctor’s orders to stay away from coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, sugar (not to mention crack or heroine)…we’d all be depressed for a while and then…maybe…we’d start hugging!

Just for today, I embrace the end of coffee.