Fear

I cancelled a date tonight with someone who tells me I’m “beautiful” and “stunning.” Why? Because I had to go to Target and buy shampoo and Comet and roam the earrings aisle (I ended up buying two pairs of earrings…one that looks exactly like two pairs I already have, only as if they were mixed together). I think I have an aversion to healthy dating. The idea of not having a definitive stance on my relationship to a man I’m sitting across from is more terrifying to me than jumping out of a plane into a jungle filled with spiders. One the most exciting offer with regards to viagra brand online is the cialis pack. With viagra generico mastercard the help of natural penis enlargement methods, you can get wider and bigger phallus. Within months of continuous use, you can absolutely feel the great improvement of your lifeless generic no prescription viagra thin hair, making it healthier, stronger and thicker. It is a popular generic pill commonly known as get viagra prescription . Can’t I just go shopping and buy a husband?!

My therapist (she’s being a pain) tells me that I don’t want to feel vulnerable (whatever!). I’m down with feeling vulnerable and all that crap (uh…in yoga and therapy!), but I’m starting to think that by the time I’m “ready” for a relationship my potential candidates will be playing croquet at Leisure World (do they play croquet…anywhere?)…(giant sigh).

So, instead of trying to get to know a suitor, I went to yoga and listened to the sound my knee makes when I go into plow (like someone stepping on corn chips) and wondered how attractive that might sound to my would-have-been date.

What I’m beginning to see is that I’m a big scarety-cat (sp?) and, like the Lion, I desperately need some courage.

Just for today, I can be honest with myself.