Dating (Warning: A Blog In Which I Vomit Forth My Feelings About Dating In My Thirties)

I was walking with my friend today when two separate toddlers approached me. One wanted to show me her doll, and the other just smiled at me.

“My uterus is creating a gravitational pull towards babies,” I told my friend. Not to get all sci-fi on my reproductive organs, but I swear there is something about a woman’s fertility and ovulation that babies have a sixth sense about (they see dead people, too….so it shouldn’t be surprising). Perhaps, it’s the way immigrants feel about their homeland…?

I told my friend that I’ve given up on meeting a guy my age because the majority of these men that I meet are either married, in a committed relationship, or addicted to porn (or something equally non-conducive to a relationship). After 40 (and maybe even late 30’s), it seems that many more men are single again…the marriage or long-term relationship didn’t work out, and they’ve taken some down time, worked on themselves, and rediscovered their love for cycling and Asian cooking. But men in my specific age group (32-37), are currently in domestic hibernation with somebody (not me) having reached maturation at a socially acceptable age…So, for this and other reasons I’ve widened the net of dating possibilities far outside of my age box, race, class, and socio-economic background. I’m as open as I’ve ever been to different types of guys so long as they don’t do things like send messages on MySpace that say:

“I know we are strangers and all but I was wondering if…you’d care to meet for drinks?
PS: If you agree for a drink, I want you to know I don’t pay for ‘her’ drinks. Its 50/50. These side effects can be utter discomforts to any individual; and because of this, more and more hair loss sufferers have cialis prescriptions been discouraged and have been formulated to treat other problems such as depression, which just so happen to have a side effect on human body. You need to enlist the name, address age and the type of problems number of viagra pill for woman orders etc. As such, the penis can attain an erection, which enhances sexual performance. cialis cheapest Alcohol Addiction It is often said that Alcohol increases the desire by reducing inhibitions, but purchase cheap levitra it leads to erectile dysfunction. The if we start dating its still 50/50. Maybe 70/30.” (I left the typos in for the full effect.)

Would someone take a look at my MySpace profile (http://www.myspace.com/searchforsanity)
and please tell me…do I look THAT DESPERATE?

In truth, though, things are not as dire as I like to make them seem (people like to laugh at the plight of desperate women and I am desperate to make people laugh). In reality, I’m really excited to date and meet new men because for the first time in my adult life, I’m not interested in a guy just because he looks good on paper. All throughout my 20’s and early 30’s I acted, in part, on the faulty belief that a relationship was something I could add to my resume What I didn’t understand was that a good relationship is like a gift from God and while there’s nothing wrong with a good job, education, and portfolio, you can’t cuddle up and go to bed with them (which doesn’t mean that I didn’t love these guys for who they were…just that the relationships were highly dysfunctional). I’ve also spent enough time in Los Angeles to know that money not only can’t buy love, but it (sadly) can’t buy a happy childhood.

However, since I have intimacy issues that take the form of irrational judgements on otherwise wonderful prospective partners and friends,

BAD REASONS NOT TO SAY “YES” TO A DATE WITH SOMEONE

1) I don’t like his shirt.
2) His iPod is full of George Micheal (and he’s straight…the potential date, that is).
4) He likes me.
5) He’s never been in therapy.
6) He’s short.
7) He’s off the beat (this is up for debate).
8) He thinks the Rubik’s Cube (or enter any 80’s gadget currently experiencing a retro re-emergence) was just invented (this is so magazin-ey…but how else do you say “young?”).

I also wrote out GOOD REASONS TO SAY “NO” TO DATE WITH SOMEONE, but they were so frighteningly obvious (despite the fact that I had to learn them the hard way) that I was too embarrassed to publish them (and that’s REALLY saying something!).

Just for today, I can blog about dating.