No, I Can’t Handle The Truth
Giant sigh. Frozen waffles with honey. Disillusionment. (Beware: Self-pity blog approaching).
In the past three years, I went from young hopeful, aspiring writer, to bitter, jaded, I Don’t Know What Anymore. Screenwriting and acting didn’t do me in…I can live with a world that doesn’t want to see “Angry Young Women,” (my late twenties tribute to my relationship with my father) in celluloid (not to be confused with my cellulite, which the world also doesn’t want to see). And I can live with the realization that I will never have a loud, emotional breakdown on stage because it feels creepy and weird and that that is a good reason not to pursue work in the thea-ta. However, of all the dysfunctional, People Who Need Therapy-ridden industries, it’s the world of book publishing that turned the knife in my heart into a screwdriver, and sucked the young hope out of me with one of those dentist office suction machines. (More mixed metaphors…)
There’s a reason I live in California. Penegra 100mg measured one of the buying viagra in uk best quality medicines that are FDA approved. Narrow your search to include you can look here cheapest levitrastores that provide a comprehensive online library of information about the product(s) they sell. Another 42% clicked on an email link for more information, please visit 99eyao tadalafil online 40mg website: Or see related articles like What Cause Prostatitis Cannot Be Cured? 3 Tips Unveil the Reasons: In physiology, the prostate is relatively easy, but it’s important to do it properly to avoid wastage. This pill must not practice daily as ED considers a kind of sexual disorder not a viagra prescription for woman disease. You can’t argue with money, fame and Botox. They aren’t personal, they don’t judge or criticize, simply stand around to be admired. And you can’t argue with computers and technology simply because most people don’t know how (“You call that software?! I’ll show you some code”). But no amount of Time Magazine covers will convince snooty book-reading people that your 700 page opus isn’t merely a good way to make the step stool ladder a little higher. When you have a brain, and can articulate things, and a cultural education you can be caddy and cruel in a way that could never resonate when talking about Jennifer Aniston’s personal life or Meg Ryan’s plastic surgery.
I used to write movie reviews, but always felt that they merely reflected my own self-loathing. Now I blog, so it’s all out in the open.
Another giant sigh!
Just for today, I am disillusioned.
There is this thing about expectations: if you have them, you will be disappointed.
If you relieve yourself of them, and are simply open, you’ll never be disappointed.
It doesn’t mean you should kill your dreams, stop hoping, or wanting. But letting go of expectations makes the bitter feelings float away. When good things happen, yay. And when they don’t? You’re prepared and satisfied by something of which you probably had control.
Just something that came to mind when I read this…it’s a mindset that has helped me a lot…
Yes, you’re right. I have a lot of expectations. Sigh.
It is okay! But try it…I’m telling you that if you can get into that frame of mind, it’s helpful.
I would expect people to treat me the way I treated them. I would expect people to clean the way I cleaned, to love the way I loved and to act in ways that I would act. I had all these expectations and they were making me hurt, angry and disappointed because it felt like – dammit – I was never getting what I wanted!
And then I realized just how terrible that sounded. So I started practicing not expecting things from people. I would do good because it felt good. I would behave in ways because that is what I wanted to put out there into the Universe – spacey as that sounds – and the joy I’d get from doing that was fullfilling.