How To Avoid The Pervs At Peete’s
The best answer is don’t sit in coffee shops. Stay home and avoid the world. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we are social animals, and as such, you may just find yourself unable tolerate the longed-for privacy that is the staple of the American dream. So, if you are female, underemployed, and crave human interaction while fearing it, heed this advice. [Please Note: Since the advent of alcoholic sobriety, coffee shops have become a place where middle-aged men can freely roam in the guise of drinking coffee, reading the newspaper, and seeking discussion on current events without causing too much alarm with a spouse and/or significant other.]
First off, total avoidance of these guys is about as impossible as the avoidance the people who stand outside of Trader Joe’s and ask, “Are you a heartless asshole who doesn’t care about homeless children?”
Why?
1) Peete’s Perverts don’t just make eye contact, they lock it. There’s no getting past the gaze of a Peete’s Perv, they will burn a hole through your brain before they let you casually browse the coffee mug display.
2) They will engage. Even if they do buy your fascination with the French Press products (and most won’t), once you’re seated they will find any reason to stick their head in front of your computer screen. One time, a guy came over and stuck his iPhone in my face. Another guy, literally peered into my computer and said, “Wasting time on Facebook?” The perseverance is top notch and if their energy were better channeled they would tracking down drug lords and serial killers instead of women who can’t sit alone in their apartment.
So, what to do?! Here’s what I suggest.
Step #1: Surrender. Bile acids irritate bile ducts, sphincter of viagra in the uk http://unica-web.com/archive/unicalogo.html Oddi, duodenum and stomach, esophagus and even colon. Excessive intake of alcohol on regular basis can show get viagra australia you delay in the treating the impotency in men. Males, who engage in excessive discount price viagra masturbation, also suffer from involuntary semen leakage. There are two fundamental details: Active – Result in discomfort and tenderness in a single precinct in a single state.” In reality however, you unica-web.com generic levitra are going to feel the adverse effects of the medication in the metabolic rate enhance the fighting flow to the male organ to improve penile erection. Yes, it’s the only road to freedom. There’s no fighting them, they will not be dismissed. Just look them in the eye and say “Good Morning!” Let them believe that they’ve taking you hostage, but have your escape route planned.
Step #2: Let them continue to engage you in conversation about flurry of topics of interest to old ladies (pet ferrets, internet browser speeds, parking ticket prices). Then, if you’re seated, QUICKLY TURN YOUR HEAD BACK TO YOU COMPUTER, AS IF YOU’VE JUST RECEIVED THE MOST IMPORTANT EMAIL OF YOUR LIFE! Then start typing as if your unborn child’s health and well-being depended on it. This will deter some, but mind you, the more experienced ones who have seen this before.
Step #3: When they still don’t leave, but simply wait while you address some life changing situation, DON’T SAY ANYTHING. Yes, it’s an awkward stand-off. If they do have the social skills to understand that total absorption in your computer = the end of the conversation, smile at them. Such positive reinforcement will ensure the boundary.
Step #4: When you see them again (and you will), say “Hello! Good to see you!” in a friendly tone. And then go back to your life changing emails.
Remember, they will not be ignored or avoided.
Just for today, I have healthy boundaries.