Holiday Forecast: Mild Depression With A Chance Of Showers

Unless you’re making homemade wreaths and white floral displays with Gwyneth Paltrow, I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I’ve been having some difficulty getting excited about Ghetto Holiday 2010. Between Obama’s codependency issues, the sounds of Kenny G’s Holiday Muzack collection at Peete’s (not a bad reason to go to Starbucks) and the fears of job search rejection, I was ready to boycott any and all eggnog lattes until Santa Claus brings me job, a Baby Daddy and an exterminator for my apartment building. Not to feel sorry for myself, as my heart goes out to families struggling just to pay bills, let alone buy gifts…but it’s been a rough year for a lot of people, myself included.

However, after pulling out my collection of $.99 Store ornaments I started to crave the sight of lights reflected on shiny magenta tin on top of a green bushy plant-like object. I figured at the very least can support the people who work in the Christmas Tree Lot industry. So, I drove my ass to an Xmas Tree Lot, stood in the rain, and tried to commune with the spirits of a dozen eviscerated trees.

“You can save $5 if you don’t get the stand,” said Xmas Tree Lot Guy.

“But won’t it will dry out…?”

“It’s going to die anyway..”

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I woke up the next day still wanting a tree. So I drank a really strong cup of coffee, got possessed by the ghost of Christmas Better Economy, and bought a tree from a stoned 19-year-old who had a breakdown when he failed to use the cash register correctly.

I came home and put up my tree. It looks awesome.

Just for today, I feel the Holiday spirit.