It’s Getting Unmanageable
I feel deeply for working mothers. Especially, single working mothers. Here I have no children, no husband and I can’t see through the back window of my car because of the encrusted level of dirt. Without rain, the dirt refuses to un-encrust itself from my windshield. Last weekend my car looked like it had participated in a mud wrestling contest. This week it could have been an extra in The Road Warrior. That is, if Mad Max drove a Honda Civic. (Look, if the world ran out of oil, which it will very soon, I’d stick with my sick shift EX…yes that’s right, I said stick shift.) But it’s not just the car. Up until tonight, I hadn’t eaten a vegetable in a week, washed my coffee mug, and have been going to work wearing the Overwarshed (no, that’s not a typo) Jeans because the Indigo Blue Work Jean pile of laundry refuses to wash itself. I come home everyday and think, “Why are papers still on the coffee table? Why is that dish still not washed?” And then it dawns on me…
I need a wife.
As soon as I hit the next income bracket milestone (it’s a couple zeros away), I’m going to hire a full-time Wife. It’ll be awesome. Gokshura: This is mainly for reviving libido and tadalafil in canada for intensifying performance. Everyone deserves an ideal and a fantastic sex life and buy sildenafil (Tadalafil) can help you achieve that. viagra (Tadalafil) has helped millions of men all around the world for treating ED allied suspicions. Thus, taking steps to prevent and control your risk factors for PVD will also reduce your risk of heart stroke, congestive heart failure and peripheral arterial viagra 25 mg disease that ahead affects the erection quality. However, they contain high cholesterol, viagra for sale australia which should not be eaten every day. 2. I’ll pay her well because, shit, wives do REAL work. None of this “Oh, I wrote fifty emails and sat in meetings all day.” I’ll give her health insurance, pay for her kids ballet and SAT prep classes, set aside a college fund, and she/he (I’m open to a male wife) can sleep with whomever she/he wants. (I don’t think it’s ethical to sleep with a wife…even a male wife.) Ok, fine, they’re called “assistants.” But I’ve seen one too many marriages where you couldn’t tell the difference. What? Did I hear an eyeball hit the cerebral cortex? (sorry, I didn’t take anatomy). Fine, then, I’ll bust out some research…
“…it is still true that when women marry they typically did more housework than they did before marriage. When men marry, they do less. Marriage decreases free time for women, but not for men.”
– Stephanie Coontz (she rocks).
Sure, I’ve had my girlish moments when imagine a lovely spiritual bond between two people who share the burden of life. And then I talk to a married woman. I realize now that all those healthy meals I ate as a kid were cooked by my mom during her off hours. It’s a lot of work to live.
Just for today, I appreciate the value of domestic work.