Cafeteria At Work

“What are you reading?” said Guy I Work With.

I’m sitting alone in the cafeteria at work. It’s high school all over again.

“Uh…a book written by a psychotherapist who claims to be chanelling Jesus Christ.”

Awkward moment.

“Oh.”

I don’t have the energy to keep my freak flag under wraps anymore. But we work together so he has no choice but to talk to me.

I don’t consider myself religious in the slightest bit. But having been traumatized throughout my childhood by a highly dramatic fantasy world, also known as the Catholic faith, I consider any positive association to JC (besides the musical) a therapeutic necessity. My first communion school teacher swore on all our souls that if we ever used the words, “God Damn,” without following them with ten Our Fathers and twenty Hail Mary’s (the Hail Mary’s didn’t count as much…like all values associated with women), then something bad would happen. I never asked what, but only imagined by the tone of her voice nothing short of the earth splitting open with flames spewing from below, followed by a red man with horns and pitchfork. I was 7 or 8 years old. I don’t think it’s an exagerration to say that I probably said a million “Our Fathers” and two million “Hail Mary’s” by the time I went to college.

And even then I didn’t stop.

So, flash forward to when I’m thirty and my therapist tells me to read, “A Course In Miracles.” Sometimes I came into her apartment, where our sessions took place, to find her cooking dinner or hanging out with other shrinks. She was a very nice woman, but boundaries were not her strong suit.

But “The Course In Miracles” appealed to my literary interests, as the text is dense and requires English major skills to decipher. http://deeprootsmag.org/2016/11/02/protecting-all-creatures-great-small/ viagra online The only thing you should do is to apply the scientific values of learning and behavior to improve school-related difficulties and to facilitate the learning and development of children. After completing the response time, a Kamagra tablet to forget about all. levitra on sale It can bring about an overall rejuvenation to the entire deeprootsmag.org cialis professional online body and it can provide relief from the pelvic pain and heavy bleeding during menstruation. Because of some underlying physical problem or we http://deeprootsmag.org/2013/06/18/a-history-lesson-wrapped-in-gospel/ viagra online online can say erection problem but that is not Erectile Dysfunction. The book was written by a psychotherapist named Helen Schuchman in the 70’s,who claimed her words were coming from JC himself. I guess if you weren’t on drugs in the 70’s, you were channelling dead spiritual gurus (I know that’s what I would do).

Well, according to the book, the great C as channelled through Helen felt that the folks who wrote the Bible totally didn’t “get” God at all. So, JC was like, “Hey, someone better channel me and get this shit worked out.” As it turns out, God has no “wrath,” does not believe in self-sacrifice or martyrdom and is totally cool with pre-marital sex so long as it’s about connecting to another person. But the apostles and other bible writers had “issues” and thought Jesus was showing off by talking about forgiveness while being nailed on the cross. And so a movement of martyrdom blew up over the past two thousand years.

Everything comes down to communication. Sort of like what happens when a guy I’m dating says something like, “You look nice in those pants,” and I’ll somehow interpret it as a suggestion that my ass looks fat in every other pair. It’s my issues in the way of a positive message. (Good thing I’m not starting a religion).

Just for today, I can read in the cafeteria.