You Got A Nice Spread

Last Saturday night I went to the Hollywood Cemetery movie screening of “Bringing Up Baby” with my sister and some friends.  I know what you’re thinking…movies in a cemetary? Well, it’s not as creepy when you’re among throngs of white people with fancy picnic equipment.

In the summer in Los Angeles one can find a plethora (that’s right I said “plethora”…sounds more English Major-y than “a lot”) of outdoor concerts and open aired movie screenings. It’s a great opportunity  to recreate a civilized meal on an old sarong…or, if you’re a pro, a waterproof fleece blanket that folds into a portable purse.  I want to get one because if there’s anything that I aspire to, it’s having cool shit.  Don’t even get me started on the chairs that turn into a backpack.  Nothing in the world says, “I have my shit together” like a chair/backpack.  There’s no question that the person attached has health insurance and a retirement account that survived the recession.  I’m sure I could afford one, but I just don’t know if I have the credentials to use it in public.  Like a pair of expensive shoes, you have to know how to wear it.

Some of these scenes belong in magazines, like a Pottery Barn catalogue for picnicking.  The first time I went to a Santa Monica Pier concert, I was blown away – not by the music (I don’t think we could even hear it from the beach) – but by all the fancy spreads and gadgets.  It’s no easy feat to transport wine glasses, tables and silverware.  But the real issue is “Why?” You’re on the beach. Walking on sand that thousands of dogs have urinated on.
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I’m just jealous of people with such a dedication to comfort.

Just for today, I admire fancy picnic equipment.