Profile

Below you’ll find the opening of my online profile.

“I’m a creative person pursuing my passions and looking to meet new and interesting men with the long term goal of building a partnership.  Although, I don’t judge it, I’m not interested in hooking up or casual sex.  I only say this because I have received a lot of these types of communications…though it’s not my thing, more power to you!

I clearly flubbed the math section. Don’t judge me.

I don’t bake either.

Update 11/12. So far everyone wants to make out on the first or second date.  I’m not 18 or addicted to sex, and it feels creepy.  I never thought of myself as “old fashioned” but I need to establish some connection first.”

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I have my profile turned “on” but I’m pretty sure I’ll get crickets or my old friends “Abusemyholes” and “YoursToDestroy.” Stalkers don’t care about hostility or that sort of thing.  Online dating in 2012 has proven a strange mixture of The Walking Dead and The Bachelor.  I get the proverbial “rose” (date) before he “turns” and a mouth is headed my way, and I’m running for my life.

I guess I’m old fashioned in waiting for a “moment.”  Traditionally, a guy checks for body language.  You see if there’s a spark and then you chance it.  If I’m holding my hand out Heismann trophy-style, that’s not a sign that I’m open for intimate contact.  If I’m cowering in the corner, also not a good sign.  (I’m long gone before I cower).

My profile is just OK.  (Boom!)

Just for today, I’m still on OKCupid.