Comic, Playwright, Non-Essential Artist

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The War On Women

Ladies, there’s a war on women.  Yes, it’s real. I don’t want to hear about how it’s all OK because you like your job and your husband does the dishes. That’s great. Congrats.  But there’s a lot of ladies who have better things to do than compare skin creams and pilates instructors…

If you don’t think there’s a war on women try lowering your dosage, gaining 30 lbs. and announce on Twitter “I’m beautiful!”  One in four women are on psych medication and I don’t think it’s because we can’t take the pressure of working in a man’s world (though, that’s part of it).

The problem with this war is that it’s insidious. Mostly, waged by other women and guys with low self-esteem.  That’s like 3/4 of the population.  And it aims at a woman’s greatest vulnerability, whether she’s desirable.  It screws her mind  mostly on worrying that if we’re not “fuckable” or desirable or in a relationship, the walls of our lives will crumble.

There’s this idea of the “Hot Girl,” a woman that men loathe and desire.  I hear about her all the time at standup comedy open mics. She turns heads everywhere she goes, never has an off day and  can sleep with anybody she wants.  (That’s supposed to be a good thing).  All her needs are met because of how she looks. I’ve known plenty of beautiful women in LA and I have never met this girl.  Pretty much every attractive woman in LA is a little (usually A LOT) insecure. The ones who aren’t insecure are usually the ones men don’t notice. Big women or older women.  Hilary Clinton. The ones that kick ass.
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The only guys who care about “Hot Girls” are guys who either hate women or don’t really date (aka, have sex).  OK, so without divulging too much information about my personal life (slutty past), I’ve met guys who you could describe as “Ladies Men.”  A lot of guys who find lots of women to sleep usually don’t go around talking and dissecting Hot Girls. They usually find women attractive because, well, they’re women.  They have all the right parts.  The paradox of Ladies Men (i.e., sex addicts)  is that they usually have a very accepting attitude about women’s bodies.   That’s maybe why women like them so much.

The Hot Girl Syndrome is designed to make you doubt yourself, panic, and maybe stop thinking too hard about the toxicity of advertisements, abortion rights, financial disparity between men and women.

Just for today, I’M SICK OF THIS WAR.