I’m Producing The Play I Wrote

I’m producing a play so all of my extra energy (the kind I have outside of surviving in this world…driving to Trader Joe’s, putting on moisturizer, cleaning the toilet, etc.) goes into figuring out the cheapest poster prices or building my 8th Facebook promoting site….or digging through the Salvation Army for bulletin boards (GLAMOROUS).  So, I haven’t really been in the frame of mind to pontificate on the hilarity and tragedy of my boring life. Plus, my mom has been struggling with cancer and that has put all my stupid problems in perspective. I’m thinking about the next play I want to write as I have apparently become a theater person. I DID NOT INTEND FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.

But even if I could get a job in show business I don’t think I have the right kind of low self-esteem for those gigs.  I get upset by sexual harassment and am really good at making a BIG DEAL out of it.   Not good in most business world scenarios.  Hello Theater World.

Also, if I hear another joke about how young men like to masturbate and obsess about sex, I might just lose my shit.  HOW MANY JOKES CAN YOU HAVE ABOUT THIS TOPIC?  I would venture to guess – though, I can’t be sure – that in history of jokes the world has ingested LESS poop jokes since the beginning of time than jokes about the Male Teen’s Desire To Get Some Poon Tang. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN YOU THINK OF ANOTHER PREMISE.

Ok. Enough. No more rage against the male masturbating machine or cap locks in this blog.
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This is a very serious post about my new serious approach to life based on a few profound realizations. 1) We are all going to die. (Sorry). 2) Expensive eye cream probably doesn’t do anything that Vaseline does. 3) Life should never be 100% gluten free. 4) I’ll always want expensive boots. 5) People are hungry so why am I worried about expensive boots?

People.  I’m tired.

Just for today, I can become a Theater Person.