The Kavanaugh Genre
The more I think about this day, the worse I feel. I know Brett Kavanaugh. Not personally, but the genre. The lacrosse or football costume-adorned white guy with a weirdly large Neanderthal-shaped head and a complete inability to acknowledge women or minorities. I’m not saying that all these guys are ev-ul. Sometimes people end up in a genre that they don’t belong to. But if you are looking for date rapists, I would definitely knock on the door at the DKE house at Yale.
I went to DKE parties. Only once or twice in my first few months at Yale. Mostly, I needed somewhere to drink beer and be an annoying 18-year-old I can still smell the stale beer and cigars (I know, so sophisticated), and testosterone, I can hear my shoes unglue from sticky floors, and, I can see the disgusting bathrooms I used because I was 18 and my germaphobia had not evolved to healthy paranoia. (I would treat a fraternity bathroom like plutonium now). My friend once remarked that the DKE guys all looked related. A brotherhood of aggressive men. To be honest, my sense was that Yale looked down on these guys. They didn’t strike me as the uber-old money, but being so far outside circles of elitism, I could be wrong.
But guys like Brett Kavanaugh exist in a variety of circles, even poor communities have patriarchies. There was a type of guy whose misogyny went beyond passive hostility and micro-aggressions, a man who seemed angry, rage bubbling under the surface, violence seems a few bad decisions away. I met this guy in high school, while at Yale and in other areas of life. In high school a lot of these guys went to jail, dropped out, did god knows what. But guys like Kavanaugh fail up, assault up, bolstered by OTHER MEN.
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We need words for these types of guys. Prosperous Sociopathic Liar? (PSL) Works for me. It always shocks me that no matter how much a PSL’s behavior exhibits evil characteristics, he manages to attract a loyal following by another group for whom we need more words…Prosperous Sociopath Liar Adjacent? (PSLA). The PSLA are complicit, if not direct perpetrators themselves, through their silent approval. Maybe these men intimidate other men, intoxicated by what looks like power, or terrified.
Maybe my tolerance for sexism and well, the potential for violence, has always been blessedly low. I wonder if my father instilled in me an almost healthy defensiveness against men. He told me that men “only wanted one thing” and to live in paranoia of men’s motives on a daily basis. I wouldn’t recommend it as a parenting technique. I would rather everyone go to therapy and the PSL’s go to jail where they belong. But he was only trying to protect me.
I have never had the experience had by Christine Blasey Ford. I have been sexually harassed and publicly assaulted, because, well, I am female. But I never feared for my life like she did and so many countless women have. For now, violent PSL’s still win in our world. They fail up and they bully their way up.