Not Feeling Creative At All, But Here Are Some Sunset Pics

Like many in quarantine, self-actualizing has taken a backseat to survival. Keeping it together during a pandemic is, as it turns out, kind of a full-time job. I am also fortunate enough to have a job I can do remotely. Between showing up for my computer at 10:00 AM (crack of dawn) and foraging for food at Trader Joe’s and toilet paper at Target, inspiration seems like a luxury from a not-so-distant past when I could run out for sushi on a whim.

Suddenly, meals that don’t need to be microwaved, and the necessity to move my body seem like overwhelming tasks. We now live in a time where I could use napkins as toilet paper. I have experimented with creating my own Lysol wipes. (Paper towels don’t cut it). I have even worried about running out of food.

I used to fantasize about living in the apocalypse, the city leveled except for my apartment building while I forage for organic beef sticks and glutton free mac and cheese. If I have accomplished anything in quarantine, it’s to realize that sans Andrew Lincoln (Rick Grimes from “The Walking Dead”) a real apocalypse would not be that sexy.

For the first time it seems in my life, I can’t write. I have set up writing sessions with a friend. We text each other “Go” at 9:00 am and then I sit there and look at my computer. Writing always is an act of faith, a battle against cynicism. I know when I start reading the news or social media, that I have lost.

Not only can I not think of what to write, I can’t even think about what medium. Play? Joke? Blog post? I have managed a tweet here and there. Here is one:

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I thought about writing a blog by quarantine week or day. I hit my own head with my car door and for a moment I thought I needed stitches. I was and am fine, but I still don’t find it funny. (Don’t laugh). I thought about writing about the five stages of grief. (However, those were written about actual death…too dark). Or maybe a Guide to Quarantine. A Cooking Blog? Omg, so many ideas and so…little…inspiration.

I have drawn a couple of cartoons because drawing is a lot like coloring. Just create some boundaries and just fill in the blank with a color. I sweep my floor every day (I live by the beach and despise sand), and have even cleaned my bathroom tile with bleach and a toothbrush.

I think things will get better and we will get through this. I can’t make sense of something that has not only never happened before but that I never really knew could happen outside of movies or TV shows.

Writing this blog has helped, a little. Also, another sunset.