It is with so much gratitude that I write the program notes for the World Premiere of “End of Times Therapy” at the Santa Monica Playhouse. This production would be no small miracle at any point in time. But in light of the fires of the last month and a half, as well as the destruction of the last few months, this production feels like a beacon of hope. Which is ironic given the title of the play. As many have pointed out, if ever there was a time or place to match this title, it would be the Los Angeles in January of 2025. Because production coincided with these events, I can’t begin to discuss the play without first addressing the fires that ravaged LA a mere five weeks ago.

The heartbreak and destruction of the fires that began on January 7th can not be overstated. And I suspect the magnitude will not be fully understood for years to come. To say that much was lost feels very inadequate. I know multiple people who lost not only their homes, but their communities, neighborhoods, schools, parks, coffee shops, temples, nursing homes, not to mention their financial equity or whatever security they had. The sense of loss is endless. Musicians and artists who lost their life’s work, hiking trails, landmarks, cultural institutions, theaters…just evaporated in one day. The economic toll will affect the whole city in months to come. Not to mention the loss of the illusion of safety. If Altadena and Pacific Palisades could burn to the ground in a matter of hours, we are all vulnerable.

The fires were so recent and the shock has barely faded. There has hardly been time for people to form a personal narrative, let alone a collective one. For everyone who did not lose their homes, the trauma of January 7th is still something to process. Rehearsals were set to begin on January 6th but we cancelled January 7th due to the winds. I had plans to hike in the Palisades but decided not to because of the winds. Then I watched from Venice beach as the Palisades fire went from a giant cloud of smoke heading into the ocean to a mountain of flames seen from anywhere. When I found out the Reel Inn, a landmark restaurant off PCH, had burned to the ground, I knew this was serious and glued to WatchDuty. At 11:00 pm I evacuated to a friend’s house in Culver City because I knew if I stayed home I would be up all night tracking the southern movement of the Santa Monica evacuation line. It did not move that night, or ever. It stopped at Wilshire Blvd, a few feet away from the Santa Monica Playhouse. Eternal gratitude and thanks to the LA firefighters and first responders who are war heroes who deserve all the Purple Hearts, Oscars, any award, really. LA has always felt to me like a giant anonymous, everything place, but on January 8th I felt bonded in sadness and love for this city.  If you would like to support fire relief efforts, I made a spreadsheet of organizations for fire relief and here is a list of GoFundme pages for Black or Latino families in Altadena.

So obviously when I wrote this play I had no idea when a production would happen let alone coincide with the biggest disaster in LA history. I began it four years ago, during the pandemic lockdown, while on a break from work and with literally nothing else to do. I was filled with anger toward the “leadership” of this country, which is the same “leadership” back in office during this production. I had always wanted to write a play that took place in the post-apocalyptic dystopia but I could not figure out what I was writing about. Then I read “Parable of the Sower,” by Octavia Butler, who is buried in Altadena, and who prophesied the current MAGA administration as if she looked into a crystal ball. I also read Kate Manne’s book, “Entitled: How Male Privilege Hurts Women” which examines the expectation that women must perform domestic labor for free. Both of these books informed my thoughts around the play, so thank you to these authors.

I sent the first draft to Abigail Marlowe, who had performed in my play, “Changes In The Mating Strategies of White People,” in 2014, and who quickly helped me pull together a Zoom reading. Though the draft was rough, the reading was great. I forgot about it until she emailed me months later and suggested we organize another reading, and from there we kept going. I rewrote and added or removed scenes for each reading. As it progressed, it became clear to me how money and power, or lack of it, dictates so much, about the way we live and the choices we make. I realized that behind the characters was a hyperbolic wealth gap, which is not that different from our current reality.

After three years of a dozen readings we felt ready to find some means of production. However, it felt hopeless to produce it independently, as the cost of theater in LA went up 1000% since 2014. And then I applied to the Binge Fringe Festival of Free and connected with Evelyn and Chris Rudie who offered their space and asked if we could call it the “World Premiere,” to which I said, “Heck yeah!” Immense thanks to Evelyn and Chris and the team at the Santa Monica Playhouse, who could not be more generous and accommodating. I am happy that ticket sales can contribute to the renovation of such a special place.

I have felt from the beginning that the play was ushered forward by so much more than me. I was not really motivated to produce theater again, and if it were not for Abigail’s continued conviction and drive, this play would not have happened. Nor would it have happened if it were not for Robert Yasumura, who pulled it together in a way I never could. Robert brought his genius and incredible knowledge of theater to every detail, from the acting, to the lighting, to the color of Trip’s hoodie. I could not ask for a more talented and dedicated director, so thank you Robert! And thank you to the brilliant cast of actors, Abigail, Sarah Cortez, Anne Gregory, Jeremy Guskin, Leonard Wu, and Anthony Riggins Jr. who worked so hard and brought so much joy and professionalism to the show. Thank you to to the designers, Mio Okada, who created the glorious set design which is pretty much worth the cost of admission, and Peter Carlstedt, who also worked on “Changes…” with me, and who brought his talent and skill to create the sounds of military units, helicopters, explosions, jazz wine bars, for a play where the SFX are essentially another character. And thank you to the voice over actors who recorded the sounds of men at war; Steve Benaquist, Ted Hardwick, Christian Malmin, Jason Boggs, Jesse Mackey, Jamison Reeves and Paul Jackson, who also plays the newscaster in the opening scene.  I am so proud of how hard everyone worked on this production and for putting so much love and energy into it, when they could be doing other things, like, say evacuating from toxic smoke filled air.

Many thanks to everyone who donated to the fundraiser which allowed us to offer stipends. And thanks to everyone who came or performed at the many readings, to Jennifer Jameson for discussing all the characters and casting after each reading, Cicely Bingener for being a generous audience member again and again, Ben Weber for directing two amazing readings, and my family and friends who have always supported my work. And thanks to my late mother who signed me up for after school theater in the fourth grade and indulged my artistic aspirations that I actually took them seriously. What was she thinking?

I read recently that theater is a very low stakes occupation. Aside from the financial struggle, the worst that can happen is you waste everyone’s time and feel the humiliation of failure (though, there really is no such thing). Those are pretty low stakes compared to first responders, heart surgeons, or air traffic controllers. And I’d be lying if I said that’s not part of the appeal. But the upside of creating theater, the shared passion, community, and the opportunity to express god given talents to entertain or inspire an audience, has no limit. The bar is not that low but the ceiling is infinitely high. Nietzsche said, “Art is the proper task of life.” I’d say fighting fires is also a prosper task, or we would not have a theater to watch this play in. So is changing oil, making cupcakes, and picking strawberries. But as someone who consumes a ridiculous amount of media, theater and art I am constantly in a state of gratitude to artists, writers, actors, directors and producers for reflecting something back to me and helping me make sense of the world. So I hope that as well as being a wonderful experience for me, probably one of the best of my life, this show offers something beneficial to the traumatized audience of my LA community, and everyone else who traveled from other cities or states, or who will watch it live streamed on March 8th. And if it serves as therapy, well, then that part of the title rings true. I don’t believe it’s the “end of times,” if it were we would not be making and watching theater. In the barrage of negative, horrible, awful news the production of the miracle of this play has preserved my faith in art and theater, creativity, and humanity. So thank you for being here and being part of it.

Thank you to all the angels for your financial support!

Without your support we were able to pay a stipend to everyone involved, hire publicist, a photographer, and make costumes.

Aaron Baumhackl, Amy M Spelta, Andrew Walsh, Arianne MacBean, Catherine Bell, Christin Embenson, Cicely Bingener, Darlene Gamboa, deerhound2005, Elizabeth Dibble, Eric Grimm, Erika Kerekes, Gillian Singletary, Jameson Duggan, Jana Godshall, Jane Alcala, Jared Watson, Jennifer Cohen, Jennifer Glynn, Jennifer Jameson, Jewel Dellagel, John Filizzola, Karl Klein, Katherine Jones, Keren Muller, Laura Gamboa, Laura Wambsgans, Leonard Kovner, Lilly Schott, Linda Castro, Lori Seamon, Lotus Golden, Maria Bamford, Maureen Marlowe, Mike Day, Muriel Minot, Nina Belcher, Rachel Marlowe, Rebecca Long, Rich Grosso, Samantha Raddock, Sarah Fey, Sherrill Smith, Solomon Russell, Steve Young, Walter Marlowe

Check out the End of Times Therapy Playlist!

And thank you to my sister Laura Gamboa who created this incredible playlist of songs. If you need a Soundtrack to get you through day, listen to the “End of Times Therapy” playlist on Spotify.