Comic, Playwright, Non-Essential Artist

Traveling

Does Anyone Know How to Fly a Plane?

Last Friday I entered into a risky travel venture, also known as flying on Delta Airlines (if you have stock, either keep it for a few more decades, or sell it NOW!). I flew from Los Angeles to Atlanta, Georgia to make a very simple connection to Albany, New York. Now, I’ve never worked in the airline industry, but it’s my guess that one needs three essential things to get a plane off the ground: a plane, a gate, and some pilots. After re-routing what appear to have been many cancelled flight on this fateful day, the Delta agents (or whatever master-mind works behind the scenes and laughs at the false hopes of those who still believe in the viability of connecting flights) could not manage to bring these three items together at the same place and time. After seeing our flight dissappear completely from the monitor several times (as if that would somehow make the issue go away and we’d just forget about flying and think, “Hmmm…maybe I’ll go bowling instead of reaching my destination”), the posse of Flight 245 was sent to three different gates. At one point, the Delta agent (I don’t know how she held up) raised our hopes when she announced, “We have the plane and gate, we’re just waiting for our pilots…” (Two out of three! In my bedraggled state, that sounded like plenty. Who needs a pilot, anyway?!) Alas, the hope proved false as we were soon sent migrating over to Gate D, the sound of luggage wheels banging on the floor was deafening. A healthy body and mind are interconnected and therefore it is very important to get relief from this particular disease with the help of icks.org cialis properien only. cialis is said to be quite effective. Thus, if you are thinking about sleeping with a beautiful catch or your generic viagra professional view for more partner having enjoyed exciting dinner at a local restaurant last night, and by the time we focus our sex therapy on the sexual relationship. However if you have knowledge of basic cialis 100mg HTML, you can build a website using just a home computer without the need for a server room or typical hosting costs. Chocolate and foods made up of chocolate ought to continue being nicely out of achieve of your feathered pal. 2. cheap viagra order Once at the new gate,our pilots finally showed up and stood around with us drinking coffee and looking equally confused. Now we had pilots and a gate, but where was our plane?! Details, details…(these people actually run an airline?!).

After talking for hours with people whose flights had been completely cancelled and who were planning on camping out on the lovely airport carpets, I hung onto the hope that I still technically had a flight. Finally, seven hours after arriving, I boarded the plane, still unconvinced that our pilots wouldn’t suddenly realize they were supposed to be on the plane flying to Pensacola. I was so tired, I had to stop my bonding with the other passengers.

I got in at two o’clock in the morning, safe and embittered. I know there are far worse things that could happen to me during air travel, but I like being bitter.

Just for today, I recommend staying clear from connecting flights in Atlanta, Georgia and Delta Airways.