Comic, Playwright, Non-Essential Artist

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You Can Go Back To Your Penises Now…

I work in the bowels of a self-acknowledged Alpha Male Zone. There’s even a sign that says something to the effect of “you’re in a frat house, but it’s always finals week” And if you can’t read, the flying footballs and emails about the crazy weekends will attest to it. I guess we’ve reached a point of “progress” in which the ostensible degree of equality gives license for flagrant displays of male bonding. It’s a throw the dog(s) a bone mentality…what’s so wrong with celebrating upside of penises (no pun intended)?

Today, I walked into a room full of “creatives” playing video games (for research). The “Creatives” are all guys who look like they just stepped out of “Porky’s” and then aged fifteen years. The level of testosterone in the room hit me like a keg of beer, and everyone looked at me as if I had just walked into the men’s bathroom. I was actually looking for someone I needed to talk to, and soon realized that my reason for being there needed to be verbalized. It was clear that any inclination to “hang out” was not welcome.

As a kid, I grew up spending time with a dad who didn’t know that I was a girl. It’s not that he wanted a son, he just didn’t know what a girl was and neither do I.
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However, thirty-something years later, I now know that a girl is someone who DOES NOT have a penis.

Just for today, I can work in a fraternity.