Impending Mid-Life Crisis And Other Reasons Why I Like To Spend Money

I recently saw an Old Friend/Ex-Something who, for a variety of boring reasons, ended up taking me for a ride in his new leased Mercedez.

“Mid-life crisis?”

“No, I just really wanted a sports car.”

Same thing!

But I get it. I have the girl version of mid-life spending issues.

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However, I have also been suffering from “frugality fatigue syndrome,” also known as Marshall’s/Ross/Target School of Style. And, honestly, if my rain coat were Prada, it could not garner more compliments or look more kick-ass. But there’s only so many times I can walk past the displayed clothes and into the sales rack before I start feeling like the kid with the sugar-free lunch. Which is all to say that today I walked into [Insert Store I’m Embarrassed To Be Shopping At] and threw down FULL PRICE RETAIL…Bitch!

Damn right, I call that a paycheck.

Later, I went to Abbot-Kinney, home of the muted tones, $200 tank-tops (on sale!) and sales ladies (not sure what else to call them) who, with a few exceptions, possess a look of stoicism that would melt Spock into a puddle. With one glance, while folding the hand woven, silk, Guatemalan-beaded, specially dyed, organic [Insert Clothing Item I’ve Never Heard Of] they seem to say, “I know you’re not buying anything here, Target Raincoat Lady, and I’m not paid enough to smile.” I wish I could take off a mask and reveal myself be Gwyneth Paltrow.

Seriously, though, I’m really glad I don’t have to try to sell $800 sweaters. Talk about pressure.

Just for today, I’m spending money.