Comic, Playwright, Non-Essential Artist

Los Angeles

My Day Off

7:30 AM – Wake-up to the sound of garbage trucks that sound like they’re crushing trash in my living room.

8:00 AM – Haven’t gotten out of bed. Can’t decide if I have a debilitating flu, or just don’t want to get up. Decide that I don’t want to get up, and so I make flu sounding noises and gestures, as if I’m trying to make someone feel sorry for me. Who? Don’t know, since I sleep alone (no comment on that). Maybe God.

11:00 AM – Therapy! I get two laughs from my therapist. One when I talk about the Cancer Causing People in my life (if air and water can cause cancer, why can’t people?) and the other when I refer to my “Insert Boyfriend” days when I indiscriminately filled the emptiness of my soul with warm bodies (attention ex-boyfriends who never felt any great connection: so sorry…please forgive). End the session by bursting into tears, and then feel bad that I go over time.

1:00 PM – Lunch with college friend. We compare notes on upcoming college reunion. Don’t know if I can withstand the plethora of married college friends and their children. I can only do so much cooing. God, I feel old.

3:00 PM – Stoplight DA Buddy Siting. A woman from DA (Debtor’s Anonymous) honks and rolls down the window. Erectile women viagra pills dysfunction is said to be male impotence which means the man fails to make erections or to be more precise firm erections. In some areas, a soft variant of Eriacta is available, but even this one is very common viagra for free and very annoying to them. Can beat the disease cialis vs viagra such as impotence. Sometimes, buy levitra wholesale it indicates that your partner is not fully interested in you, which can contribute to poor sexual life. “I need a meeting,” I shout, even though it’s the last thing that I really am feeling a the moment. She makes a downward pointing sign with her thumb and then shouts back, “Meetings suck!” I realize that I want her to like me and I think that by acting like some desperate, my-life-is-a-shambles debtor, that I’m endearing. Boy, am I a phony.

4:30 PM – Coffee at Pete’s. Realize I lost my ATM card, menstrual cramps coming on full force, caffeine craving at all time high. Give dramatic recounting of drama around Cancer Causing Person to friend. Realize that I’m only increasing the chances of getting cancer.

5:30 PM – Program call. Healthy friend reminds me that it’s OK to love the people I want to love and pray for the rest.

6:00 PM – Prayer session on Cancer Causing People.

6:15 PM – Buy tickets to “Lord of the Rings.” (Dreaming of Viggo…)

6:20 PM – Write blog. Read past blogs and am horrified by the amount of typos. Swear that one day I’ll clean it all up.

7:00 PM – Actual moment of peace and gratitude (Please last!). Meet friend for movie…more on that later.