Please Advise
[PLEASE NOTE: The below entry is a fictional account inspired by past employment experiences in advertising.]
Dear Team,
Thank you all so much for working through the night. Especiallay, Abdelazzizi, who took my 2:00 AM (New Delhi time) phone call and listened to my panic attack between bites of left over Orange Chicken from Panda Express [FYI (For Your Information), Panda Express is a Chinese fast food chain…it does not keep very well, but the MSG (Monosodium Glutamate) gives me a lift…kind of like Celexa, but way better]. Re: web site, we’re still seeing the same issue – the screen goes blank – in all IE browsers. Nada. Pradeep, I wouldn’t call this a “change order.” (That’s when we decide to add something new). Can we fix this ASAP? (As Soon As Possible).
Please advise.
S.
Dear Team,
As you all know, QA started today. (That’s “Quality Assurance,” for you Nadeer, young man that you are. Although your dedication to supporting your family shows a maturity beyond that of most 17-year-old Americans). Re: testing of the site, currently the “Go Back” button seems to be taking me forward. “Go Back” means previous page. Would it help if I sent a list of terms?
Please advise.
S.
Dear Team,
Unfortunately, my (former) client (Client=Person who spends $ for service) doesn’t understand my sense of humor. When I joked that the site was “shy” he thought I meant to say that the blank page was the final delivery. Whoops. Live and learn. I am no longer the PM on this project. Maybe some day I’ll make it out there and we can laugh at this over beer and naan. I still need a translator for the documentation.
Please advise.
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S.
Dear Team,
Still looking for employment. If you hear of any Project Management jobs, please keep me in mind. Am open to relocation. Also brushing up on my Hindi. Would you describe my communciation style as “assertive/aggressive?”
Please advise.
S.
Dear Team,
I’ve decided to change fields completely and become a yoga teacher/energy healer/vegan chef. Am taking a program in Santa Monica taught by a white guy in dreadlocks whose eye contact could be compared to the grip of a drowning man. Am not sure if this is the right path, but at least the vegan diet has allowed me to shed five pounds. Still, I miss my Orange Chicken.
Do you think Ghandi ever felt weird and all like ‘what’s the point?’
Please advise.
The End
Just for today, I am a seasoned Project Manager.