No More Winks…Please!

I somehow got talked into signing up for Match.com. Despite the fact that I would rather force feed myself undercooked kael, sleep in a mattress infested with bed bugs AND eye-biting spiders (my co-worker got bit in the eye by a spider, too! WHAT is up?!), while fighting a sinus infection (assuming I didn’t know that hydrogen peroxide is the miracle cure), than participate in Internet dating….I signed up because I’m making a statement to the universe that “I’M WILLING!” So, despite the inherent creepiness of the outfit, I paid my $50 for a 3-month subscription and have proceeded to receive a scattering of “WINKS” from guys that maybe I would politely smile at if I were standing at the condiments counter at Starbuck’s and they were waiting for the half-n-half that I was hoggging. OK, there was ONE NICE GUY, who I spoke to over the phone (if you happen to be reading this…well, gee, this is awkward. You’re really nice and all, I’m not sure we’re a match, but you have been the shining star of the entire experience).

The point of all this is that I’m starting to believe that Match.com and all these other online dating services are seriously profiting from the dense population of lonely folk desperately hoping to ease their pain with another co-dependent soul. There’s also the flattery factor. Put up your best picture, get a few winks, and who cares how bloated you’re feeling? (it’s the half-n-half). purchase cialis online As the penis gets erect, the veins and arteries related to the reproductive system gels huge flow of blood that makes relaxed of the muscles. After any artificial overexcitement comes inhibition … cialis sales australia For firm and hard erections it is essential for the blood vessels to make an entry into this region. https://unica-web.com/watch/2017/one-day-in-africa.html viagra 50 mg These courses are inexpensive does not mean you have to accept and tadalafil tablets in india live with it. Just take a look at the messaging that goes along with the winks: “Jacksonian winked at you! Out of millions of members, he picked you!” First of all, I don’t think there are millions of women between the ages of 27 to 35 within twenty miles of Jacksonian…so right there is an outright lie. Secondly, how do I know that he isn’t winking at fifty women a day (or men?). All he’s doing is hitting a button. (It’s this kind of scrutiny that probably got me rejected by e-harmoney…).

Let’s face it, there’s nothing like “wink” from a 57-year-old retiree to fuel a depressive outlook on a 34-year-olds dating prospects [I know there are many women in their 30’s interested in older men…I, however, am not one of them. Not that I would rule it out, but it’s not exactly the “vision.” BYB: I have one friend who likes dating older men because she feels like the “fresh” young thing. I prefer not to feel “fresh” or “stale,” but ageless].

For now, I’ve closed down the profile and will take my chances in the real world (MySpace?). Is it too much to want such things as relevance and context in a potential date? As in, “I met you through BLANK, or while doing BLANK, or in BLANK class…”

Just for today, I can say no to Internet dating.