Category Archives: Spoken In An Old Lady Voice

Love, Carrie Fisher, 2016, Etc.

Oh, 2016, you were a pain.  Here I thought I had survived the death of my mother, turning 40, love/career disappointments, turning 40, the transformation of my country into a Banana Republic and, climate change (holy shit, California can get cold). … Continue reading

Posted in Aging, Election 2016, Emotional Stuff, Hillary Clinton, Is It All Going To Shit?, Mom, New Year, Spoken In An Old Lady Voice | Comments Off on Love, Carrie Fisher, 2016, Etc.

Pretty In A Paisley Contempo Casuals Suit

Pastel Paisleys.  A suit.  My face reads,  “Uh, He-ell no…this is going straight to the Salvation Army.” But my grandmother gave it to me for my birthday and so I had to try it on and humiliate myself in front … Continue reading

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I Tried To Like “Girls”…I Really Did

I really wanted to like “Girls.” I admire Lena Dunham, she’s a woman writing and directing in Hollywood and that’s worthy of a high-five.  But here’s the thing…parents no longer financially supporting you at 25…that’s not really a Problem.  Being … Continue reading

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A Bag Of Crap

“Here’s a bag of crap,” I said to the Super Cute Guy At Good Will. “One person’s crap is another person’s treasure,” he replied “No, I think one person’s crap is another person’s crap, momentarily disguised as treasure.” My father … Continue reading

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Nostalgic Candy

I’m helping my co-worker disepense of his children’s extraneous Halloween candy (fine, he stole it). He stashed away the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and Almond Joys per my request. All the other scavengers are left to sift through the M&M’s, … Continue reading

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Lakers…Bitch!

In the 11th grade I joined the JV basketball team. Basketball didn’t really fit into my plans to conquer the world (or get into college). At 16, I was over the hill, not to mention too short, to ever become … Continue reading

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